EFT Cafe – 14th December 2016 – Tapping Into Kindness

Tapping Into Kindness

Image courtesy of Megan Sparks

Christmas is (or used to be) the season of goodwill to all.

​For most of us spreading goodwill to all is much easier in theory than in practice.

In the Buddhist tradition there are specific practices designed to help us develop our ability to be kind and friendly to others.

The spirit of friendly kindness or ‘metta’ as it is known to Buddhists is traditionally cultivated by specific meditation practices designed to help us be kind to ourselves and others.

Research on metta meditation has shown it has a wide range of benefits.

“For one, loving-kindness (metta) meditation makes you feel closer to others, even strangers. And this happens not just consciously (as in you noticing that you “feel closer to this person”) but also on a deeper level (in that you automatically react more positively to people). We also found that it increases your feelings of happiness and well-being generally” – Emma Sepalla

These meditation techniques can easily be adapted to a form that can be used with tapping to help cultivate our ability to be kind to ourselves and to others.

In this month’s EFT Cafe Andy Hunt will demonstrate a tapping version of metta practice that can be used by anyone regardless of religious persuasion, or lack thereof, to help them find this particular spirit of Christmas.

The EFT Cafe is on Wednesday 14th December, 2017 at St Oswald’s Hospice Education Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne and costs just £10

Simple Acceptance Tapping

How Accepting What You Are Trying To Get Rid Of Can Help Change It

Image courtesy of Luke Peterson

Image courtesy of Luke Peterson

It’s understandable that most people don’t like their difficult feelings and want to get rid of them.

Most people think that you have to reject something to get rid of it, believing that if you reject it, it will go away. If you accept it, then it will stay.

You might be able to throw away an unwanted object, but rejecting unwanted psychological or emotional states doesn’t seem to work that way.

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EFT Cafe – 9th November 2016 – Resistance, Acceptance and Change

eft cafe resistance

Image courtesy of eflon

In any EFT book or training you quickly learn about the setup statement:

“Even thought I have this problem, I deeply and completely accept myself”

Tapping on the side of the hand while repeating this phrase is designed to ‘set the scene’ for the tapping to come by addressing what tappers would call ‘psychological reversal’ – an unconscious tendency to resist change (even if it is what you want).

The intention of the setup statement is to promote acceptance of the problem and yourself before working to change on it.

What if there were a better setup statement?

What if there were more direct ways to address some of the different aspects of ‘psychological reversal’ in a setup statement?

What if being better able to be with our resistance would make it easier to change?

In this month’s EFT Café Andy Hunt will explore Fred Gallo’s† alternative setup statements and processes that draw together mindfulness and tapping to facilitate change.

Find out resist less and accept more on Wednesday 9th November, 2016 in St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne, from 7pm to 9pm.

† Fred P. Gallo, Ph.D, Clinical Psychologist and President of ACEP was an early adopter of TFT / EFT and coined the term ‘Energy Psychology’

EFT Café – 12th October 2016 – Balancing Safety And Vulnerability With EFT

Safety And Vulnerability

Image courtesy of Noel Reynolds

How safe or how vulnerable we feel make a big difference about what we are willing to do, what risks we are prepared to take.

Having safety and vulnerability out of balance might mean that we struggle in certain situations and don’t have access to all our resources.

In this month’s EFT Café we will be investigating how to balance safety and vulnerability so that we can be more resourceful and at ease in challenging situations.

This EFT Café is based on the ‘Safety and Vulnerabilty’ model created by NLP Trainer Fran Burgess.

Find out balance safety and vulnerability with tapping for just £10 on Wednesday 12th October, 2016 in St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne, from 7pm to 9pm.

EFT Café – 14th September 2016 – Loosening Limiting Beliefs With EFT

Loosen Limiting Beliefs

Image courtesy of Per

Limiting beliefs are one of the best ways of staying stuck. They limit our ability to see possibilities and our ability to take action to achieve our goals.

They are also remarkably resilient.

Like weeds they grow and take root. Once established they can be very hard to remove.

Using EFT/Tapping we can tap on the limiting belief itself or work our way back to the original events where the limiting beliefs were formed.

But there are other ways of loosening limiting beliefs so they are easier to remove.

In this month’s EFT Café Andy Hunt will show you how to use some of the linguistic techniques of NLP combined with tapping to loosen and remove some of those stubborn limiting beliefs.

Find out how to soften beliefs with tapping and language on Wednesday 14th September, 2016 in St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne, from 7pm to 9pm.

How your past can be running your present (and what to do about it)

Annies photo

Image courtesy of simpleinsomnia

EFT/Tapping is a wonderful self-help tool. You can use it to soothe difficult emotions and ease painful memories.

It’s so good, you imagine that if you just tapped on the symptoms of your problem, relief would be quick to follow.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to work that way.

A quick search on the internet will find a multitude of tapping scripts or tap-along videos for your problem. However, while tapping along can soothe the distress at the time, those old feelings can come back later.

It’s as if tapping on the symptoms is like hacking away at the leaves of a tree. If the trunk of the tree is untouched the leaves can grow back with ease. If we don’t work on the trunk and the roots then we could make slow progress.

Let’s imagine someone called Annie.

Annie is now in her thirties and has had the uneasy feeling that she is not wanted for as long as she can remember.

Although she is in a long-term relationship with a loving partner, she often imagines that she is about to lose him to someone who is ‘better’ than she is. In spite of his obvious love for her, she finds it hard to accept that he does love her and that it will last.

She strives to conceal her reservations and be pleasing to him. She puts him first to ensure she keeps his affections.

But, even when things are going well, she feels a deep-seated unease about her relationship and how long it will last.

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A Simple Tapping Technique To Dissolve Old Shoulds

Tapping Shoulds

Image courtesy of Sookie

Should:
Used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticising someone’s actions

Are you shoulding on yourself?

Are you telling yourself all day, every day, what you should be doing (and feeling bad about what you haven’t done)?

Sometimes we have so many ‘shoulds’ it’s difficult to know what we want.

Have you noticed that even though ‘shoulds’ are supposed to be motivating, what you should do often doesn’t get done!

As the definition says a should is a rule you ‘should’ live up to, a demand you ‘should’ meet, an expectation of how you ‘should’ behave.

  • I should lose weight
  • I should be more assertive
  • I should be more patient
  • I should …

Shoulds are often intended to be motivating, to help us do what we want or what is best for us. In theory our ‘shoulds’ should help us get things done

Unfortunately they don’t usually work that way.

Three ways shoulds don’t work

On the face of it ‘shoulds’ should work, but there are three ways in which they backfire:
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