EFT Café – December 10th – Christmas Rehearsals

 

Image courtesy of Alex Brown

Image courtesy of Alex Brown

How do you think your Christmas is going to turn out?

Are you looking forward to happy get togethers or are you running through all the ways in which it’s could be stressful.

We are blessed and cursed with imagination.

How we use our imagination has a profound effect on how we act and respond in the situations we are imagining.

December’s EFT Café  is a presentation of a new mental rehearsal process based on EFT and NLP that will give you a way to mentally and emotionally prepare to get the best out of Christmas.

If there are bits of Christmas you’d like to do better and feel happier about then this new process is for you.

IMPORTANT: A NEW TECHNIQUE IS NOT JUST FOR CHRISTMAS!

There are probably other areas in your life where you would like to do better and feel better doing it. This process will help you do that.

The EFT Café is on Wednesday 10th December at St Oswald’s Teaching Centre, Gosforth from 7pm – 9pm and costs £10.

The Origami Process

Image courtesy of Brett Jourdan

Image courtesy of Brett Jourdan

Sometimes how we feel about things is complicated, especially when those feelings are painful.

Some emotional responses can be very difficult to shift with tapping (or anything else).

Part of the problem is that our emotional responses are seldom single or straight forward.

We have our ‘first’ feelings: sadness, anger, disgust, fear, etcetera, in response to some challenging situation.

That’s bad enough, but we may not be satisfied with having just one bad feeling, we usually have painful feelings about the ‘first’ feeling.

We could feel resigned about our sadness, ashamed about feeling angry, guilty about our disgust or afraid of our fear, and so on.

It gets worse, we can add more difficult feelings about the feeling we felt about the first feeling. Perhaps we can feel hopeless about feeling resigned about feeling sad, and so on.

Each uncomfortable feeling can be added to with another painful feeling about it. Folding the original, straightforward emotional response into a tight and painful package.

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EFT Café – November 12th – The Origami Process

Image courtesy of Brett Jourdan

Image courtesy of Brett Jourdan

Sometimes how we feel about things is complicated, especially when those feelings are painful.

In difficult situations we have our ‘first’ feelings: sadness, anger, disgust, fear, etcetera.

That’s bad enough, but we may not be satisfied with having just one bad feeling, we add feelings about the ‘first’ feeling.

We could feel resigned about our sadness, ashamed about feeling angry, guilty about our disgust or afraid of our fear, and so on.

It gets worse, we can add more feelings about the feeling we felt about the first feeling. Perhaps we can feel hopeless about feeling resigned about feeling sad, and so on.

Each feeling can be added to with another feeling about it. Folding the original, straightforward emotional response into a tight and painful package.

In this month’s EFT Café Andy Hunt will demonstrate the ‘Origami Process’ a (very) new approach for unfolding tight parcels of feelings, softening them and refolding them back into a new more comfortable configuration.

So far this approach seems to be able to quickly and easily unwind difficult emotional states that are resistant to standard tapping and radically change your perceptions of the ‘problem’ that provoked those feelings in the first place.

The EFT Café is on Wednesday 12th October, 2014 from 7pm – 9pm at St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Newcastle upon Tyne. Cost is £10.

Compassionate EFT

Image courtesy of Kirsten Stiles

Image courtesy of Kirsten Stiles

In every painful situation there are two sorts of suffering.

The pain of the circumstances and our resistance to the situation (including our lack of compassion to ourselves).

The pain of the situation is easy to understand.

Our grief, disappointment, anger, guilt, shame and all those other challenging emotions are easy to see and feel.

However, our resistance to the situation and lack of compassion for ourselves can be harder to see, although their effects are just as debilitating.

Although EFT/Tapping makes good use of our body and mind’s natural abilities to quickly soothe painful emotional states, we can easily be caught up in self-criticism and judgement of ourselves for having the problem in the first place. We may be so used to this self criticism that we barely notice it.

When we are with someone else who is suffering we may feel very accepting and compassionate of them and their distress and have a strong wish to ease their pain.

However, when we have a problem or experience some distress, we might not feel quite so accepting or compassionate of ourselves as we do of others.

Instead of being kind to ourselves we might think that it is wrong for us to have this problem. We might believe that being in this situation proves that we are bad, pathetic or unacceptable as a human being.

Not only do we suffer the problem we can even feel bad about feeling bad: we are a problem having a problem.

Falling off a bike can hurt in more ways than one

Recently I saw a sad demonstration of how this lack of self-compassion starts. When I was walking the dog one afternoon I saw a young schoolgirl fall off her bike, she landed in a heap, stood up and started to cry.
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EFT Café – How To See The Good In Yourself – Sept 10th, 2014

AppreciateIt’s easy to see the good in others.

The good qualities of the people we admire, or respect, are very easy for us to see and acknowledge.

But, it can be much harder for us to see and acknowledge the good qualities in ourselves.

It seems to be much easier to find qualities to feel bad about rather than aspects of ourselves to feel good about.

Our inbuilt tendency to dwell on the negative means that what we think of as the ‘bad’ pieces of the mosaic of our personality get far more attention than the ‘good’ parts.

It gets even harder if our early experiences led us to believe that to acknowledge the good in ourselves was a sign of unwarranted pride or big headedness. This kind of early life training makes it even harder for us to acknowledge what is good in ourselves, even it is the same quality that we admire so much in others.

In this month’s EFT Café, Andy Hunt will demonstrate how use tapping to achieve a realistic acknowledgement and appreciation of the good in ourselves without becoming a narcissist or a raving egomaniac.

The EFT Cafe is on Wednesday 10th September, 2014 from 7pm to 9pm and costs £10

Tapping Into Our Shadow

Under the light

Image courtesy of sean hobson

A man was walking home late one night when he saw the Mulla Nasrudin searching under a street light on hands and knees for something on the ground. “Mulla, what have you lost?” he asked.“The key to my house,” Nasrudin said.“I’ll help you look,” the man said.Soon, both men were down on their knees, looking for the key.

After a number of minutes, the man asked, “Where exactly did you drop it?”

Nasrudin waved his arm back toward the darkness. “Over there, in my house.”

The first man jumped up. “Then why are you looking for it here?”

“Because there is more light here than inside my house.”

Most people get into EFT/Tapping as a way of tackling the problems or difficulties in their lives. Using the process as a remedial tool to overcome emotional challenges.

It’s a great idea, and it’s why I started to use EFT on a regular basis. In the early years I had a lot of stuff to work with, no shortage of tappable issues

But there’s more to tapping than just fixing problems.

If you just use it to work on the obvious problems you can miss out on the potential of tapping to make profound changes in your life. You can go beyond remedial tapping into using EFT to heal the hidden, wounded parts of ourselves.

In some cases these are the parts of ourselves that we don’t want to think about or admit we have, even to ourselves. These parts, the ones we wish we didn’t have are sometimes described as our shadow.

We probably don’t like to admit that we have not-so-nice parts of ourselves and we may have done a very good job of covering up those responses and feelings to fit in with our families and communities.

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.”
– Carl Jung

Most of us aspire to be happy and good people.

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To Heal And Be Healed For The Common Good

heal (verb) : Old English hælan “cure; save; make whole, sound and well,” from Proto-Germanic hailjan, literally “to make whole”

Healing

Image courtesy of BK

In 2005 I had an odd experience which crystallised my reasons for doing the work that I do.

It’s taken me several years to unpack that experience and I’m still figuring out the implications.

I attended a Spirituality and Therapy workshop with Bill O’Hanlon, three days’ exploration of how we might understand and use spirituality in therapeutic work.

On the last afternoon he invited members of the group to stand up and say a few words about what was important to us about what we had learned and what we would do with the understandings we’d gained.

One by one participants stood up and answered telling the rest of us what they had learned and what they wanted to do next.

In a brief pause between speakers and without any conscious thought, I found myself standing up (a large part of my mind was wondering why I was standing up and what I was going to say) and saying “I don’t really know what this means but I want to heal and be healed for the common good”. I had no idea where that thought came from and was as surprised as anyone else that I’d said it.

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