Information

Just to let you know that the December Beginner’s EFT has been cancelled.

The Beginner’s EFT format is being revamped and will be re-launched in the New Year. So if you want to find out about EFT and do St Oswald’s Hospice a favour at the same time stay tuned.

I just read a short article Fear of Apples by Seth Godin. He suggests that there are two reasons that people might not be taking advantage of a product or service.

… Whatever you sell, there are two big reasons people aren’t buying it:

1. They don’t know about it.

2. They’re afraid of it.

If you can get over those two, then you get the chance to prove that they need it and it’s a good value. But as long as people are afraid of what you sell, you’re stuck.

People are afraid of tax accountants, iPods, chiropractors, non-profits, insurance brokers and fancy hotels. They’re afraid of anything with too many choices, too many opportunities to look foolish or to waste time or money.

This got me thinking about the various ways that people may be afraid of approaching a therapist to solve a problem and to improve their lives

Fear of the process

If you have never been to a therapist before, the chances are you will assume it’s going to be like something you’ve seen at the movies or on TV.

Perhaps lying on a couch with a bearded guy with a Viennese accent sitting in an old leather armchair asking you to tell him about your potty training.

Maybe it’s going to be like One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest with Nurse Ratchett at full power, or worse.

Perhaps it will be a lot of talking, re-hashing old hurts and working your way through a couple of  boxes of paper tissues during each session.

There are so many different kinds of therapies each with their own style and form that it would be impossible for anyone to know, without previous experience, what to expect.

Fear of judgment

If you have a problem and you are contemplating therapy, then it’s quite common to think: “It’s just me that has the problem. All the ‘normal’ people will think I’m mad”. That somehow you are different from all the ‘normal’ people who don’t have this problem.

It can be easy to imagine that you might be the only one who thinks or feels this way. No one else has ever had that kind of thought or feeling or done those things. It might even be possible that you think you are mad. In fact most of my clients at one point or another will say: “You will think I’m mad but …”,  and I’ve never had any reason to agree with any of them about this, and they wouldn’t have been the first people to think they were the first person to think this way.

Fear of being taken advantage of.

Private therapy is not the cheap option for most people. You might well be afraid that a short term expense is going to turn into a long drawn out process that costs a lot of money. Especially if your idea of therapy is that it will involve months or even years of talking and very slow progress.

What is there to stop the therapist leading you on for their own benefit?

What if it’s worse than being financially abused?

You don’t have to wait too long to find an article in the media about how a doctor, nurse, health care professional or therapist has taken advantage of a client’s trust and misused them. How do you know you can trust the therapist to be ethical?

If the issue you want help with is getting over some abuse in childhood or later and you are thinking of coming to see someone of the same gender as the abuser it’s not hard to imagine how difficult that might be.

Fear of exposure

For most clients therapy is an expedition into unknown and frightening territory and they don’t know whether they can trust their guide’s integrity or competence. How can you tell if someone is a worthy guide before you have even met them.

What if on this journey you have to bring your darkness into the light and the therapist sees it? If all your fears and closely held secrets are brought into the light what will the therapist think?

Fear of failure

Many people feel stupid or inadequate having to bring a problem to a therapist. To have a problem for any length of time you’ve probably been struggling with your attempts to sort it out. At least those attempts have been in private. What if this therapy thing doesn’t work? Will going to a therapist be just another opportunity to fail?

Maybe it is worse than that if you have been to many therapists and had no relief then each subsequent attempt to change may amplify the fear that you won’t be able to change. You might even begin to think “nothing I do works”. In this case seeing someone else might be an opportunity for a further loss of hope.

Fear of success
On the face of it this fear is surprising, surely you are going to a therapist to get better. What if it does work? What if I do change?

How will I cope with being a different person and how will those around me cope? If my family and friends are used to me being one way and might even prefer it that way, how will they cope?

It might even feel that it’s safer to stay with an unhappy situation than risk the uncertainty of a new and better life.

It takes courage to bring your fear and share it with a stranger.
- Karen Ellis, Psychological Therapist.

With all those potential fears ranged against them it’s a miracle that anyone picks up the courage to seek help from a mental health professional in either the private or public sector. It can take a lot of courage to approach someone for help with painful difficulties.

However, it’s important to remember that if you have had enough courage to go through everything you have been through up to now, and you probably have enough to spare to go through the process of getting better.

I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me.
I have accepted fear as a part of life -
specifically the fear of change, the fear of the unknown;
and I have gone ahead despite the pounding in my heart that says:
turn back, turn back, you’ll die if you venture too far.
- Erica Jong, author.

As you may know I have a strong interest in using EFT and NLP working with cancer patients to help them cope with the emotional stresses and strains of cancer so they can be calm, resourceful and determined as they pursue their treatment.

To make articles and information about this work easier to find I have created a new website www.cancerwellbeing.co.uk where you will be able to find cancer related articles, resources and courses.

Cancer Wellbeing is not a new organisation or business, rather a space that I can devote to that area of my work. Practical Wellbeing will continue in it’s present form.

Feel free to have a look at the new website and let me know what you think. If you are in the difficult position of having cancer yourself, or know somebody who is, please direct them to the Cancer Wellbeing site.

Starting later this month I am running the first of the four session Cancer Wellbeing courses in Newcastle showing cancer patients how to use EFT and NLP techniques to ease the emotional burden of cancer.

The course is free of charge to cancer patients.

The course is divided into four parts.

Part 1
Learning the basics of EFT.
How to use EFT to start to feel better and take control of your emotional responses to cancer.

Part 2
Getting over difficult appointments and treatments.
How to turn the trauma of a diagnosis or difficult appointment into just a memory.

Part 3
How to settle anxiety and fear whenever you need to

Part 4
Preparing for appointments and treatment so that you can be at your best.
How to use these approaches for yourself in the future

If you know anyone in this predicament in the Newcastle area please pass this information on to them.

There are only eight places available find out more on www.cancerwellbeing.co.uk

I’m pleased to announce I have a new venue for my one to one therapy practice in Newcastle upon Tyne. The Jesmond Therapy Centre is a beautifully refurbished suite of therapy rooms on Holly Avenue West in Jesmond.

There is good access on public transport via Metro and bus, and good parking just in front of the building.

I am available to see clients on Thursday morning between 9am and 1pm and at other times by appointment. You can find out more about the Jesmond Therapy Centre by following the link.

Note: If you want to book an appointment please contact me on 0754 700 9116 rather than the centre itself.

Unfortunately I’ve decided to withdraw from this year’s Edinburgh Marathon which is scheduled for this coming Sunday. I really wanted to run this as a celebration (believe it or not) of my 50th birthday which has just passed but I’ve been able to do less preparation than I’ve needed to and had a series of mild infections which further set back my training. In the interests of my own self preservation I thought it best to withdraw.

However I am hoping to run it this time next year on behalf of Cancer Research UK.

Image via Wikipedia

As you may know I’ve been running The Great North Run for a few years now. I use the word running to indicate a kind of wheezing shamble that gets me from one end of the course to another.

This year I decided to add to my repertoire of shambling by running the Edinburgh Marathon (26+) miles the week after my 50th birthday. Let no-one say I don’t know how to celebrate in style!

I’ve decided that I’ll get sponsorship and run for Cancer Research UK. Since I do work with cancer patients and support groups and some of my loved ones past and present have had to deal with cancer it seems like the right choice.

You will see widget on the right hand side of my webpage inviting you to donate. It’s simple, secure, and a lot easier than running 26 miles. Please give generously: it’s going to a good cause and I could use the extra motivation.

Thank you.

My good friend and fellow EFTer Liz Kirsopp sent me the following email about an event she is running in Hexham. It has nothing to directly to do with NLP or EFT but I think it might be fun.

Hi Everyone,

I would love it if you could come to this event that I am leading or please feel free to forward this email to anyone you know who might be interested.

In association with Queens Hall Community Arts I am leading a workshop of Overtoning at the Moot Hall in Hexham Market Place on Sunday 26th April at 5pm to 7 pm. Ring box office on 01434 652477 to book.

Overtoning is a kind of singing or chanting that is practised in Tibet, Mongolia, Siberia and amongst native peoples in other parts of the world. There are very different ways of doing it but the basic technique is one of producing two notes or sounds at the same time with one voice.

I am not an authority on overtoning but am a competent practitioner of the basic overtone effects and I love to do it in a group! So I am not taking any payment for this but there is a charge of £6 each to cover the rent etc

I will provide basic tuition and the aim of the group is to be experiential and experimental.

Things I love about overtoning  -

- that we can create amazing harmonies very quickly with a minimum of practice,

- that we can vibrate that harmony together in a rare energy that has nothing to do with words

and that it does not matter if you are tone deaf or have a voice like a horse.

There are several youtube clips that demonstrate overtoning – the Siberian kind is called Khoomei or Tuvan singing , but don’t worry we won’t be doing that style! It is very deep and abrasive and has to be developed from childhood. Here are some links – sorry I cannot find any good examples of women doing it but we can do it just fine, I promise you! :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbzaKKfvBo4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0nI2f98ykw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zcry8pvM3IU

Please do contact me if you have any questions or if you are interested to try overtoning but cannot make this date.

Thanks

Liz

If you want to get in touch with Liz drop me a line and I’ll pass your message on. As she says in the email feel free to pass this information on to anyone you think might be interested.