They say time heals all things, but they might be wrong
Sometimes it takes much more than time to heal emotional wounds. Safe and gentle work with an experienced therapist accelerates your emotional healing so that you could have the peace of mind and heart you have always wanted.
If you are reading this you already know that your experiences can affect your emotional well-being.
Sometimes people survive their experiences and recover by themselves, other people can be wounded in ways that make it difficult to recover. The effects of those experiences cause them emotional pain, interfere with their relationships or even affect their health.
How do the people I work with know that they are suffering from emotional wounds?
- They could have traumatic memories that don’t fade away.
- They could feel great shame or believe they are a bad person who doesn’t deserve to be happy
- They might feel as though their childhood experiences ruin their adult life. Their body may have grown up, but inside it can feel like there is still a frightened child trying to cope.
- They may have a vicious inner critic that is determined to make them suffer. They may even hate themselves.
- They could be afraid of what other people think about them and try to please or appease them to feel safe.
- They could feel very anxious or have irrational fears and worries.
- They may feel stuck. They want to change but whatever they do they only get temporary relief.
- They may have already tried many ways to overcome their emotional problems but nothing has worked so far.
- They could feel helpless, stupid and frustrated that haven’t sorted these problems out yet.
If you relate to some of those experiences I guess you would like to be able to let go of them and live a happier life?
If that is so I want to let you know that you don’t need to suffer forever from these kinds of problems. Even if you have felt bad for a long time it is possible let go of the past and find relief that you have been longing for.
Safe and gentle work with an experienced therapist could help heal those wounds. New therapeutic approaches help untangle and dissolve the painful feelings, thoughts and behaviours that keep people suffering.
I help people who are still suffering from the emotional wounds of the past to heal with a safe, compassionate and powerful therapy.
It feels very different to how I used to feel and I am still getting used to it.
My lack of self acceptance was extreme and causing anger towards myself due to my perceive failure(s). The feeling of anger and failure have now dissipated.
This has made an enormous difference to my life and I am fully accepting myself and my life as it is today. This work went right to the core, the source, of the issues.
I feel much calmer now. I no longer make negative comparisons and there is a noticeable reduction in my desire to please others.
Note: I have permission from these clients to use their words and I have changed their names to protect their confidentiality.
In this kind of therapy I work with my clients on what is important to them. We work together to make the changes they want as quickly, and as comfortably, as possible.
Many people find it difficult to admit to themselves and others that they are struggling with wounds of the past. They may even feel ashamed that they have these difficulties or even believe they deserve to suffer.
Feelings of guilt and shame can make it difficult for them to look for help and choose somebody to trust with their distress.
Because these difficulties are so long lasting and pervasive many people believe there is nothing that we can do to change them.
There are good reasons why these kinds of problems are so entrenched and difficult to change. They are part of our body and brain’s built in response to stress. It’s not our fault, it’s the way we work.
But new therapeutic approaches can work whether someone was in a car accident last week, or were neglected as a child decades ago. These techniques can help change those responses and ease those problems.
With the right kind of help people can put down the suffering they have experienced along the way whenever that happened.
Why do we have these emotional problems?
The kind of emotional suffering I work with have three basic causes:
- How we kept ourself safe and survived childhood.
- What we learned from those around us as we grew up
- How our brains react to dangerous situations
We have to survive childhood
Being alive can be dangerous. Millions of years of evolution have given us strong instincts to stay safe and make us aware of danger.
As babies we are vulnerable and we all need to be kept safe and looked after.
Our carers must protect us from danger, attack, cold, heat and illness. They must also provide us with food, drink, warmth and comfort.
We have a long childhood. We need time to learn how to be ourselves. We need protection, love, encouragement and acceptance if we are to thrive into adulthood.
In an ideal world we would be born into a loving family that protects and supports us. Our parents would love and accept us, keep us safe and help us grow into mature and well balanced people.
In the real world some of us are not that lucky. We might be born into families that don’t want us, can’t or won’t love and accept us, they may even neglect or abuse us.
We learn from our (bad) experiences
If you need to be safe, loved and cared for, it’s hard to grow up in a situation that is dangerous, cruel or neglectful. Instinctively we want to be safe and have our needs met, so we do what we have to do to fit in well enough to survive. We learn what to say or not to say, what to do or not to do, how to get some comfort from those who are looking after us.
We learn from our childhood difficulties how to be in the world. How to cope with challenges, how relationships work, what love means and what you have to do to get it. These strategies work to some degree and keep us alive, but they hang around long after the original danger is over. We may learn to be afraid of criticism, men, violence, women, sex, love, shame, etc. In our adult lives our childhood learnings no longer serve us, in fact they can hinder us.
It hurts when we remember bad experiences
We learn from our experiences. Our memories of what happened help us to decide what to do next based on our experiences of last time. Unfortunately some memories are stronger than others.
Our nervous systems evolved over millions of years to keep us safe and help us survive.
If something threatened our ancestor’s safety they remembered it in ways that made sure they avoided that danger in the future. If a big animal with sharp teeth attacks you (and you survive) it is helpful to remember that attack vividly and be afraid when you see those animals again.
In dangerous situations our brains cause us to freeze, to fight or to run away. These responses get attached to the memory. We only have to remember the extreme situation to feel the freeze, fight or flight response.
That makes sense if you are in dangerous situations, but if those memories are triggered when you are safe those responses can be a problem.
- If you are a soldier returning home it might be hard to feel safe even if you are.
- If you were assaulted by a man you might be afraid of men, even when most of the men you meet mean you no harm.
- If you are a driver who was involved in a motor accident it might be difficult to drive even when you are safe.
- If you were criticised as a pupil when you spoke to the class you might fear ridicule, even from people who want to hear what you say.
- If you had one bad landing you may become afraid of flying.
- If you were stuck in a lift for a few hours, you might be scared of small spaces.
In many ways our ability to remember scary or threatening incidents in our lives cause us to feel scared or threatened. Even if we know there is nothing to be afraid of in the present moment, we can still have those fear reactions.
It’s not your fault, it is your brain is doing its best to keep you safe – even when you are not in danger now.
What can we do now in therapy that we couldn’t do before?
Until now changing and resolving these issues has been difficult. Therapy has taken a long time and made slow progress.
We used to think that brains couldn’t change. We believed that once you reached adulthood your brain, and your mental / emotional tendencies, were fixed and could not change.
Recent research is demonstrating that your brain can change, ‘rewiring’ itself as necessary. This is important, if your brain can change, your thoughts, emotions and behaviours can change.
It used to be that there were few ways of reducing intense emotions like fear, sadness, anger, and grief. Now there are techniques such as EFT which can quickly and easily reduce the charge on intense distressing emotions.
Better still, you can learn to use these techniques for yourself so that you have the ability to dial down your own distress.
Intense memories of traumatic experiences were thought very difficult to change.
Some of the older methods used were painful, they relied on reliving the events many times until they lost their emotional hold over you.
These new methods are very different, using them we can reduce the emotional charge of traumatic memories more quickly and with much less distress.
Now it is much easier for us to soften or even dissolve emotional distress.
What if nothing you’ve tried works?
Many people have already tried to solve these problems without success so far.
- They may have talked about them with a counsellor. They may have found comfort by sharing their distress. They may have a better understanding of their difficulties, but after all those hours some suffering still remains.
- They may have tried medication or other remedies. Perhaps they helped relieved the symptoms but they didn’t solve the problem and they may have had unpleasant side effects.
- They read self-help books, watched videos, and attended seminars. Perhaps they tried to be more positive or have more willpower. But whatever they did, it wasn’t enough.
These approaches may not have worked because the roots of the problem are out of reach of many traditional approaches.
The way your unconscious mind and brain works makes these problems hard to unravel and change.
Instead of trying to soothe the symptoms these newer therapies find the deep roots of the problem and dissolves them. Dissolving the roots of the problem makes the painful emotions and unhelpful behaviours of the problem change easily.
One of my clients, who I’ll call Katie, told me that in stressful situations she was often seized by a powerful stress response. She became paralysed by anxiety, losing her ability to think and act like an adult.
Katie said: “It’s as if I stop being a capable adult and become a terrified child.”
She had experienced this anxiety response for as long as she could remember.
Using Identity Healing, an advanced therapeutic technique I have developed, we worked to heal ‘the terrified child’. After that process, which took about 40 minutes, Katie felt “exhausted, relieved and lighter”.
When I asked her to remember the situations that had previously caused her this powerful anxiety response she wasn’t able to connect with those feelings.
She thought they should be there, she could remember what they were like, but she wasn’t able to feel it.
Over the next couple of weeks Katie noticed that she no longer had the panic response.
In situations that would have sent her into anxiety and stress, she was able to respond to the situation as an adult, with an adult’s ability to think clearly, rather than as a terrified, overwhelmed child.
She found this surprising as the terrified child’ response had been her only way of responding to stressful situations for more than 40 years and not to have it was, in her words: “life changing”.
What can we heal with this kind of therapy?
Using new approaches it is possible to ease many forms of emotional distress, including:
- Traumatic memories: We can defuse painful memories, traumas, flashbacks and nightmares turning those memories into the stories of the events. A story without those painful emotions.
- Anxiety, Worry & Fear: We can calm the racing of scary ideas and thoughts in your head. It’s possible to think clearly about what is going on without a churning stomach or sweaty palms.
- Inner critic – Rather than have a relentless critical commentary or sharply critical voice in your head you can have peace and quiet and more helpful thoughts.
- Old childhood patterns: Compulsive caring, or anxiety about authority figures can be undone. You can face the adult world as a resourceful adult rather than a scared or desperate child.
- Low self worth – If you have a low opinion of yourself you can learn a more balanced compassionate attitude to yourself.
- Guilt & Shame – If you have learned to feel guilt and shame in your life they can hinder your well-being and progress. Releasing your guilt and shame can make your inner life so much easier.
- Being stuck – If there are things that you want to do and can’t quite get done, the chances are that there is some early unconscious programming from childhood at work. Releasing that stuckness helps you live the life you want to live.
Who do I do my best work with?
I work with people who have a painful inner life. They want to change themselves for the better and they know it is up to them, but however hard they try they stay stuck in the same old struggles.
I do my best work with people who want to:
- let go of traumatic memories.
- become a their true capable self, feeling like a responsible and resourceful adult rather than as a scared child in an adult body.
- be free of the hard time they give themselves.
- be their own person without being afraid that they are going to be attacked or abandoned.
- be able to accept themselves as a fallible human being (just like the rest of us).
I specialise in and do my best work with the kinds of issues I’ve described above.
When asked to describe what she got from our work together in one sentence, Susanne, one of my clients said: “A feeling of getting rid of the old pain and giving myself a chance to be my best version of me!”
I do not work with clients with the following issues:
- Drug and alcohol problems.
- Children and adolescents.
- Weight loss issues.
- Smoking cessation.
- Couples or family counselling.
Three myths of therapy
We all have ideas about therapy, how it works and what it’s like. Even if we don’t have personal experience of it we see it portrayed on TV or read about it in magazines.
There are three myths about therapy that often stop people getting the help they need.
- Therapy is slow. One of the common myths about therapy is that it can be a slow process. We imagine years of talking, analysing and discussing your problems. Some types of therapy such as psychoanalysis or counselling can take a long time. However there are many brief therapy approaches that aim to help more quickly. The kind of therapy I do is a kind of ‘brief therapy’. I aim to do what needs to be done as quickly, safely and effectively as possible.
- Therapy is painful. Since it deals with emotional problems it would be easy to imagine that therapy can be painful. It must be difficult having to revisit and explore all your old traumas and suffering. Now we can use techniques that help you make the changes you want with as little distress as possible. The therapy process can be challenging at times but it doesn’t have to be traumatic.
- Having therapy means I’m weak or I’ve failed. In a culture that expects us to ‘get over it’ by ourselves it can seem like needing therapy is a failure or a demonstration of how weak we are. That’s not the case. Coming to therapy is a courageous act. It takes guts and strength to bring what troubles you to another person for help. Sometimes we can only succeed with the help of another.
Doing nothing probably won’t work
If time hasn’t already healed what is troubling you, more time is probably not going to heal it either.
The way our brains and minds work mean that traumas will remain traumatic for years to come. Our old emotional patterns will repeat themselves time after time. Our inner critics will never tire and anxiety will use anything it can find to worry you.
That’s not your fault, that’s just what brains and minds do.
To reduce that suffering you must undo the way your mind and brain creates those problems or they will continue.
You could try to soothe the symptoms. Using medication, eating, drinking, shopping and all the other soothing possibilities we have. Perhaps if you soothe the symptoms they will go away, but they always come back when the soothing wears off.
You could try to avoid the problem. By avoiding the situations in which it occurs or distracting yourself from it. If you don’t think about it perhaps it will go away, but when you think about it – there it is.
But, the only way to solve the problem is to solve the problem.
Four common questions (one of which is seldom asked)
Potential clients often have questions about therapy. The first is often thought but seldom asked, the others are often asked.
Will I be safe?
Superficially therapy just looks like two people talking. What could be safer?
In reality clients sometimes need to approach the painful parts of their lives to defuse them. That might not feel safe at all.
Emotional distress is distressing. Sometimes those feelings can be so unpleasant or overwhelming that it doesn’t feel safe to feel them.
But, you don’t need to be re-traumatised by your traumas or overwhelmed by your distress to make good progress.
An important part of my work as the therapist is to make it safe for you to change the things you need to change.
Using EFT and other techniques it is possible to approach painful issues gently, deal with them and feel safe doing it.
How long will it take?
This is the question that most clients ask early on in the process. The answer is “I don’t know” (and no-one else knows either) because it depends on so many factors:
- How complex and deep rooted the problem is
- What the client wants to achieve
- How willing and able they are to engage in the process
- What is going on in their lives outside the therapy
- Many other conditions.
Some problems – single traumatic memories for example can be cleared in just a few sessions. Other difficulties resulting from years of neglect and abuse usually take many sessions to clear.
To help manage the unpredictability of therapy, I arrange to see my clients in blocks of six sessions. If we solve the problem in just one or two sessions then we finish there. If not we review our progress at the end of the sixth session, we chart how far we have come and how far we need to go. It is then up to you, the client, if we book more sessions. We work in manageable blocks and you decide when you are ready to stop.
I’ve tried counselling, homoeopathy, etc and it didn’t work for me, why would this?
If you have tried many things to ease your suffering and had limited success it may be because you couldn’t get to the root of the problem. The kind of therapy I provide aims at finding the roots of the problem and dissolving them. When the roots of the problem are gone it’s much easier to make the changes you want to make.
Is it private?
Privacy is a central concern of any good therapist. When you work with me I guarantee your privacy in the following ways.
- The fact that you have come to see me as a client is confidential
- Anything you say to me is confidential. I will not communicate it to another person without your express consent.
In the following extreme cases that confidentiality agreement will be broken if:
- I think you are going to hurt yourself or someone else
- If there is a threat to the welfare of children
- If an officer of the law makes a legitimate legal request to see my notes.
Any confidential information and notes about you are kept under lock and key in accordance with the ethical requirements of the NLPtCA & AAMET. Five years after the completion of therapy all your information and therapy notes are destroyed.
The science behind the problem and the solution
The results of childhood stress.
Few people are aware of just how damaging stressful incidents in childhood are.
In 1995 a study in America involving 17,000 people started to explore the effects of their early childhood experiences on their later mental and physical health.
The researchers asked the subjects to recall how many ‘Adverse Childhood Events’ (ACEs) they could remember. ACEs included abuse, neglect, witnessing violence, divorce and several other distressing events.
They found that 63% of the subjects had experienced one ACE, 20% had experienced 3 or more ACEs.
- 11% experienced emotional abuse.
- 28% experienced physical abuse.
- 21% experienced sexual abuse.
- 15% experienced emotional neglect.
- 10% experienced physical neglect.
- 13% witnessed their mothers being treated violently.
- 27% grew up with someone in the household using alcohol and/or drugs.
- 19% grew up with a mentally-ill person in the household.
- 23% lost a parent due to separation or divorce.
- 5% grew up with a household member in prison
It turned out that the more ACEs you had the more likely you were to suffer from a variety of mental and physical health issues including: depression, PTSD, suicide attempts, alcoholism, drug abuse, heart disease, obesity and other problems.
No-one expected there to be such a strong relationship between our childhood experiences and our mental and physical health.
Major and minor traumas are at the root of many of our emotional challenges. Being able to ‘de-fuse’ traumatic memories is an important part of the process of healing.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) one of the techniques I use is a simple and effective way of defusing traumatic memories. It’s a relatively new technique which is only now beginning to be researched.
Research is demonstrating that the EFT/Tapping is an effective way to deal with traumatic memories and emotional distress.
Here are two studies out of many:
EFT soothes trauma
In a research study from Edinburgh in 2011 EFT was found to be as effective in working with trauma as EMDR. EMDR is the current trauma process recommended by NICE for use in the NHS.
While EMDR is the ‘officially’ sanctioned trauma relief method in the NHS, a few mental health practitioners in the NHS are starting to use EFT for working with trauma and to teach patients a simple self-help technique.
EFT reduces stress
As well as relieving traumatic memories, EFT has also been shown to have a direct effect on stress and even the biology of stress.
When we feel stressed or upset our bodies release the hormone cortisol into our blood stream. The amount of this hormone in our system, which can easily be measured, indicates how stressed we are – even if we are not aware of it.
A study in 2012 showed that EFT was able to reduce the level of the stress hormone cortisol in the blood. After one hour of EFT it was demonstrated that the average level of cortisol in the participants dropped by 24%.
EFT simply and effectively reduces the effects or trauma and stress. It does’t need special equipment or medication and it’s an easy to learn self-help technique.
Why work with me to heal these wounds?
The kinds of issues I work with need care and experience.
I have always been fascinated with the problem of how to be a happier person.
After university I attended many self-development workshops and groups of one sort or another. Over the years I have taken many trainings and courses to help me be feel more contented and resourceful. I’ve also learnt meditation and yoga.
In 2000 I took Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Training, first as a practitioner, and then master practitioner. As I continued my learning I decided that I wanted to help other people benefit in the way that I had.
In 2004 I learned about EFT and how that could release stressful emotions and patterns. I found the simplicity and power of EFT refreshing. Combining EFT with NLP gave me a powerful toolbox of techniques which I used for my own healing.
Continuing my training and experience I wanted to offer those processes that worked so well for me to other people.
I have been seeing clients on a professional basis since 2002. I’ve worked with hundreds of people using these processes.
My clients tell me that they see me as straightforward, trustworthy, compassionate and resourceful. They also say that I don’t seem to be uncomfortable with anything they say, or judge them in any way, and that they feel safe with me.
My professional training
My professional development includes these trainings:
- Client Centred Counselling – 1985-1998
- NLP Practitioner – 2000
- NLP Master Practitioner – 2001
- NLP Practitioner – 2002
- NLP Psychotherapy Training – 2004
- NLP Master Practitioner – 2003
- NLP Trainer – 2003
- EFT Practitioner – 2004
- EFT Trainer – 2004
- NLP Master Practitioner – 2006
- EFT Level 3 Practitioner – 2006
- Introduction to Solution Focused Brief Therapy – 2006
- Introduction to Solution Oriented Hypnosis – 2006
- Integral Eye Movement Therapy – 2007
- Introduction to Compassion Focused Therapy – 2012
- Introduction to Matrix Re-imprinting – 2014
- Introduction to Provocative Energy Techniques (PET) – 2014
- AAMET Accredited Certificed EFT Master Trainer – 2014
My professional associations
I am a member of the the NeuroLinguistic Psychotherapy and Counselling Association (NLPtCA) and the Association for the Advancement of Meridian Energy Techniques (AAMET).
The NLPtCA is a non-profit organisation dedicated to developing and promoting the use of NLP in therapeutic and counselling settings. It is a Member Organisation of the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP).
The AAMET is the largest international non-profit EFT organization dedicated to supporting EFT practitioners and students, help them grow professionally and creating a safe environment for generous sharing and exchange.
As part of the requirements of the NLPtCA I receive regular clinical supervision. I also receive mentoring and supervision of my EFT work to maintain my accreditation with AAMET.
How I work with my clients
The first contact and the initial consultation.
The first step for a potential client who wants to explore working with me is to call or email me.
At a mutually agreeable time we arrange an initial telephone consultation. This conversation is a chance for us to discuss what is troubling you and what you want to achieve by working with me.
This kind of therapy is a collaboration between therapist and client, it helps to find out if we could work well together.
These first impressions are part of establishing trust and creating a good working relationship.
In this conversation I would get an impression of what you were like and you would get an impression of me.
Even though therapy hasn’t started this conversation can be helpful. Having the chance to explain what is going on can helpful as you get a chance to put things in order in your own mind.
At the end of the consultation if we think that we can work together I will send you a confidential client questionnaire.
The confidential client questionnaire
The second part of the process is to complete a confidential questionnaire.
This form includes your contact details, living circumstances, any medical conditions, any medication you are taking, a brief history of the problem and what you would hope to achieve by working with me.
Having this information in advance of our first session gives me a chance to prepare for that session. It also saves time because you don’t need to spend precious time in the session filling it in.
Clients often find that writing things down helps them gain extra clarity.
When I receive the completed questionnaire we arrange our first in-person / Skype appointment. No appointments are given until I have received a completed questionnaire.
I see clients in person at The Jesmond Therapy Centre in Newcastle upon Tyne, The Bodywork Centre in Hexham or The Azure Centre in Whitley Bay.
The first session
This is the first time we meet face to face (or on-line).
In this session we have a chance to meet and we can discuss your needs in more depth.
I can get a better understanding of your situation and concerns.
We can explore what is important to you, what you want to change and how you want to change it. In this kind of work we acknowledge where you are now and we start to explore where you want to get to.
Finding out the direction you want to travel in is a crucial part of this kind of therapy. It gives you a chance to envisage a different future and lets us know how we will know we are making progress.
This therapy is based on what is important to you, as the client you choose your outcomes.
We also see if we can develop a good working relationship. This session is a chance for you to take me (as your therapist) for a ‘test drive’ and for me to get to know you. In this hour we can get a good idea of whether we will be able to work together in the sessions ahead.
It’s important for therapy to work that we can work well together.
If we think we are well matched there is a breathing space of a few days for you to decide whether to book further sessions.
If we find that I am not the right therapist for you (whatever the reason) I may be able help you find someone who might be better suited to you and your needs.
The breathing space
After the first session there is a breathing space.
This is a few days for you to think about whether I, and what I am offering, is right for you. You don’t need to make a quick decision in the session.
With some space you will be better able to decide if therapy with me is the right thing for you and whether to proceed.
If you are the kind of person who can’t say no it stops you from getting stuck with something that isn’t right for you, but you can’t refuse in person.
It’s important to me that the decision is yours and is a free choice.
If you decide to continue working with me we can arrange our next session to start making the changes you want.
The therapy sessions
In each of the following sessions we use your most important outcomes to guide our work.
In each session we use gentle and safe techniques to explore and heal the causes of your difficulties. I usually teach my clients simple techniques they can use to ease their distress between sessions. They can use these techniques to speed the therapy process and to help them for the rest of their lives.
At the end of each session I often give clients tasks to do between sessions. These tasks are to strengthen the changes they’ve made and to practice new ways of being in the world.
At the beginning of the next session we review the progress you are making and decide what to do next. What is important to you may change as we make progress and we can adjust our course as we go along.
If there is still work to do at the sixth session, we review our progress and plan our next steps.
You decide when you have made enough changes for you and when to end or pause the therapy.
The follow up
A month after our last session I will get in touch with you by email to find out how you are progressing.
We can review the changes that you have made. We can also refine the strategies and tactics you learned in the sessions to get as much from them as possible.
A quick summary of working with me
In summary if you work with me you will receive.
- A step by step process to find out if we would be a good therapeutic team. The better we can work together the more likely you are to reach your goals.
- All my attention, skill and expertise to tailor your therapy to be the best it can be for you.
- An understanding of the problem and more clarity about what you want.
- Safe and powerful therapy to get you from where you are to where you want to be.
- Simple self help techniques that can speed therapy and help you in every day life.
The one promise I can’t make and the five that I can
The promise that I (or any other therapist) cannot make is that therapy will succeed or give you everything you want. No one knows how each therapy will turn out.
But I can make you five promises about what I will do.
1. I promise to do my best to make sure we are likely to succeed before we even start.
My approach to therapy is as a collaboration between two people working on painful issues to get the changes that the client wants.
For that collaboration to work well:
- I have to be the right kind of therapist for you
- You have to be the kind of client I do my best work with to get the most out of the process.
- We need to work on issues that I am confident and competent to work with.
If you have worked with therapists who weren’t right for you in the past you will know that it can be uncomfortable and even unhelpful.
The process we go through before we even get to our first session is designed to make sure we have the best chance of success.
2. I promise to work on what is important to you
You know yourself the best. In our sessions you get to decide what’s important to you and what changes you want to make. I can’t (and won’t) decide what’s best for you, that’s your job.
Part of the first session is to find out what your current difficulties are and how you want to be different. Once we know what troubles you and what you want we put this list in order of what is most important to you.
What you want and where you want to get to is up to you, I’m there to help you get to where you want to go. You decide what is important and we can adjust those goals as we make progress.
3. I promise to tailor the therapy to your needs.
Everyone is unique, having their own particular constellation of difficulties. Ideally everyone needs a therapy that is just for them.
As I have said therapy is a collaboration between therapist and client. The work of getting from where you are to where you want to be is a joint effort. Part of that collaboration is developing a therapy that works well for you, which will help you make the best progress in the shortest amount of time.
However, while you can change far more quickly than you might imagine, I will never promise you a miracle cure. I can’t wave a magic wand over you and I won’t pretend that I can. This process does require your willingness to work towards the changes you want to make.
4. I promise treat you with compassionate professionalism.
From my point of view you are a human being who is suffering. You are not your diagnosis or a problem to be solved.
I will work with you to help you change the parts of your life that are painful for you.
I won’t claim to be able to cure you but I will work hard with you to ease your suffering and I will do that with compassion and understanding.
5. I promise that I won’t prolong the therapy unnecessarily.
Some people are afraid that once they go for therapy that it will never end. They don’t want to spend years in long-term therapy.
“How long will this take?” is an impossible question to answer. People are complicated, what works for one person may not work for another.
It may be that you get the result you want after only one or two sessions, in which case the therapy ends there. It may be that you need more sessions to make good progress.
In all cases you decide when you have have done enough.
How much does it cost?
The full cost of each one-hour therapy session is £60 (there is a concessionary fee of £30 for people on a limited income)
You can pay me in cash, by cheque, via PayPal or bank transfer.
What do I need to do next?
If you want to explore working with me please contact me using the form below or calling 0754 700 9116 (9am-5pm, Mon-Fri)
When you contact me we will arrange a convenient time for our initial free telephone consultation.